Happy International Women's Day!

Happy International Women's Day! I hope all you ladies out there are being appreciated for everything that you do today and every day.  Let's celebrate being women, being different, our uniqueness, and the amazing contributions women make to our world!

Are You Following Your Heart, Or Following Your Fear?

To follow your heart seems like the simplest, easiest and most logical relationship advice and yet most people, especially women don't. They convince themselves they're following their hearts, but what they're really following is their fear.  Fear, that they will end up single and alone, fear that society will judge them, fear that they will run out of time to have children, fear that they won't be financially secure, fear, fear, fear. This is one of the reasons the divorce rate is so high, or married couples are so unhappy, because at some point this truth is revealed -- they never really listened to their hearts, they listened to their fear.

Kick-Ass Dating and Relationship Advice From Girlfriend 911!

Here is some kick-ass dating and relationship advice from my book, GIRLFRIEND 911. In any dating or relationship situation as long as you set a high standard for yourself you can never go wrong. Standards describe what you will and won’t tolerate in a relationship. Your list of standards is basically your list of what you deserve.  Any time you accept anything less than what is on your list of standards, you are saying to a guy you're are not worthy of his love and respect. Here’s a fact men love women who love themselves, respect themselves and have the confidence to say no to a man in any situation where he doesn’t come up to her standard, or does something to put her down or make her feel less than.  

"If you want to be treated properly and respected by the man you’re dating, it is imperative that you create a list of standards for yourself. Think about these standards long and hard, and know that once you write them down, you can add to the list but not subtract from it. Your list of standards is basically your list of what you deserve. Any time you accept anything less than your list of standards, you are saying you are not worthy. On the contrary, the man you are with should feel like the luckiest guy on the planet to have landed you. Write down your list of standards and stick to them.” GIRLFRIEND 911 

Download your copy of GIRLFRIEND 911 here: http://amzn.to/2bzf1an

You Complete Me? No, That's All Wrong - Complete Yourself First!

I saw Bridget Jones's Baby this past weekend and absolutely loved it! It made me think of Jerry Maguire and that famous line Tom Cruise says to Renee Zellweger, "You complete me." It's such an awesome line, don't we all wish a guy would say that to us?  Well the truth is NO, because if you really want to have a healthy relationship, its so important for both parties to already be complete human beings; not ones that need to be saved, rescued or completed. So do the work on yourself, sort out your stuff and become whole. That's how you will find and attract true love into your life. As I say in my book GIRLFRIEND 91, "[in a} a union of true soul mates, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Each person benefits and flourishes in a way they could never do on their own. In such a relationship neither partner should ever have to compromise being who they are; rather, each should support the other."

Happy Valentine's Day!

I don't believe in Valentine's Day as being that one special day to honor and care for your partner.  I think couple's should celebrate and appreciate each other every day.  However, as it is Valentine's Day, I thought this quote was some of the best advice I've seen in a long time and a real game changer.  Real intimacy -- into me see -- comes when you can truly see your partner and help them be the best that they can be.

Dear GF911: How Do I Stop Myself From Calling My Ex?

Dear Girlfriend 911

I read your book and did what it says, but now I am having a hard time trying to not call my ex. What should I do? Thank you!

Sandra

Dear Sandra,

Thank you for reading my book, GIRLFRIEND 911 and for reaching out to me.  

My advice is to reread my book and follow the steps I clearly lay out when you’re having a hard time after you’ve sent a Goodbye Letter and you’re waiting to see if he reaches out or not. 

Step Number One:
Feed your Soul - stay busy and make sure you’re doing things that make you happy. Do things that feel pleasurable to you and don’t involve a guy.  You should do all the things you enjoyed doing before this man consumed your life in the first place.

Step Number Two:
Make an Anger List -  Make a list of all the things he’s done in the past that have hurt you. An Anger List is a wonderful reminder of why he had to go, why you’re doing what you’re doing, and why he’s not allowed to come back until he comes up to your standard.

Step Number Three:
Remember your Personal Mantra: New You doesn’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. 

Step Number Four:
Don’t Go Rogue - Remind yourself there’s a reason you’ve written him a Goodbye Letter and sent him on his way. That reason being that whatever your relationship was, it wasn’t working. You obviously weren’t happy, your needs weren’t being met and your wants weren’t being fulfilled. So why would you want to call him, if you already know that unless something changes, it’s just going to be the same merry-go-round you’ve been on? If you want to keep doing the same thing and you’re expecting a different result, go right ahead, but that’s the definition of insanity. Better to follow steps 1-4 which I laid out for you above and see if your guy is so sad that you’re no longer in his life that he is willing to make some crucial changes to win you back. And if he isn’t, well that’s your answer.  Don’t you deserve to be with someone that makes you happy and that wants the same things you want? Someone that is willing to make the necessary compromises and changes in order for you to have a healthy and happy relationship. I say that you do! So don’t call him, wait and see if he calls you, and if anything has changed at that point.

I hope this helps you. 

Girlfriend 911

Love Is Friendship That Has Caught On Fire