Dear GF911: How Do I Stop Myself From Calling My Ex?

Dear Girlfriend 911

I read your book and did what it says, but now I am having a hard time trying to not call my ex. What should I do? Thank you!


Dear Sandra,

Thank you for reading my book, GIRLFRIEND 911 and for reaching out to me.  

My advice is to reread my book and follow the steps I clearly lay out when you’re having a hard time after you’ve sent a Goodbye Letter and you’re waiting to see if he reaches out or not. 

Step Number One:

Feed your Soul - stay busy and make sure you’re doing things that make you happy. Do things that feel pleasurable to you and don’t involve a guy.  You should do all the things you enjoyed doing before this man consumed your life in the first place.

Step Number Two:

Make an Anger List -  Make a list of all the things he’s done in the past that have hurt you. An Anger List is a wonderful reminder of why he had to go, why you’re doing what you’re doing, and why he’s not allowed to come back until he comes up to your standard.

Step Number Three:

Remember your Personal Mantra: New You doesn’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. 

Step Number Four:

Don’t Go Rogue - Remind yourself there’s a reason you’ve written him a Goodbye Letter and sent him on his way. That reason being that whatever your relationship was, it wasn’t working. You obviously weren’t happy, your needs weren’t being met and your wants weren’t being fulfilled. So why would you want to call him, if you already know that unless something changes, it’s just going to be the same merry-go-round you’ve been on? If you want to keep doing the same thing and you’re expecting a different result, go right ahead, but that’s the definition of insanity. Better to follow steps 1-4 which I laid out for you above and see if your guy is so sad that you’re no longer in his life that he is willing to make some crucial changes to win you back. And if he isn’t, well that’s your answer.  Don’t you deserve to be with someone that makes you happy and that wants the same things you want? Someone that is willing to make the necessary compromises and changes in order for you to have a healthy and happy relationship. I say that you do! So don’t call him, wait and see if he calls you, and if anything has changed at that point.

I hope this helps you.

Girlfriend 911


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