The Importance Of Intimacy In Your Relationship

A male client of mine recently told me that his relationship was lacking intimacy. I assumed he meant sex because men usually equate intimacy with sex, but I was wrong. What he actually meant was communication. He didn't feel he and his partner communicated, he didn't feel connected to her, and thus the intimacy was lacking. Communication is one of the key factors in a relationship, and it was so refreshing to hear that from the male point of view. Men also want to be able to have partners that they can communicate with, that they can share their inner most thoughts and feelings with. The deeper the communicative bond, the deeper the connection, and the deeper the connection the greater the intimacy. Nothing is sexier to me than a man who is open and wants intimacy not only through sex, but more importantly through communication.

Every Time I Thought I Was Being Rejected, I Was Actually Being Re-Directed To Something Better!

In the past few months I've had a couple client situations that haven't gone the way my clients had hoped. I'm not a fan of the word rejection as it has such a negative connotation, but when things don't work out the way you want them to people always seem to go there -- to that place of rejection, and feel really bad about themselves. I learned this very important lesson many years ago about rejection. When things don't work out they way I'd planned, I NEVER feel rejected.  I always look at "rejection" as a positive and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that whatever this "rejection" is, it's in my best interest even though I usually can't see it clearly at the time. So always remember whether you're being "rejected" in your work life, or being "rejected" in your love life, know it's for your protection, because there's always a better plan. Either the timing isn't quite right, or something or someone much better suited for you is waiting in the wings. 

Dear Single Dudes: It's Time To Man Up

I know it's not as simple as what this guy is preaching, but what he has to say is a must read! We are all afraid of getting hurt and getting our hearts broken, but if we do our part and men do their part, perhaps we can cut through a lot of the BS, game playing and confusion, and start to have healthy and happy relationships.

This Is What I'm Talking About!

I so LOVE that this quote was written by a man, Behavioral Science Academic Steve Maraboli.  Be sure to check out my book GIRLFRIEND 911 on, in which I dedicate a whole chapter to the topic of Standards and Boundaries. Without these two important elements, you will never be able to have a healthy, happy and successful relationship.

Dear Girlfriend 911: Help! I Don't Know What to Say or How to Reply

Dear Girlfriend 911,

HELP!  I just received this letter from my boyfriend.

Hi Jill,

I am so far behind so I will have no time to play this weekend. Life not going as it should. I still need to go see David before he dies as there is unfinished business there.  I just have to stay focused on the priorities right now and I am sorry to say getting laid  and spending time with you is not one of them.

I will call you or you can call me, but I just need to get it done.


I don't know what to do, how to respond, or if I should respond at all.  I have been seeing him only on weekends, going there because he doesn't have a vehicle at the moment.  Here's the response I want to send, is it okay?

Hi Rick!

Happy to hear from you. 

I am sorry too.  But I understand.  Please give David my best and let him know I am thinking of him.

I will miss you.  Hope to hear from you soon :-)


Hi Jill, 

Thanks for reaching out to me. 

My advice is to read my book, Girlfriend 911. The response that you want to send to him is concerning to me, because it doesn't seem like you're not standing up for yourself. I would respond to Rick's email, but do not let him disrespect you. I have no problem with Rick needing to take a break from seeing you to deal with stuff, but the "getting laid and spending time with you is not a priority," did not sit well with me. Remember you only

Dear Girlfriend 911: I Need A Pep Talk!

Dear Girlfriend 911,

I emailed you earlier about my boyfriend of two years who just underwent major surgery and keeps letting his ex-wife back in to his life.  I have written my standards list and my angry list.  I read them almost every night.  I wrote the Goodbye Letter and took it to him about a week after he got home from the hospital.  I am second guessing myself and wondering if I should have waited to give him the letter when he was off his pain meds and more recuperated.  I am wondering if I should send him another copy now that he has recovered more.

I have talked to him a couple of times. I am his insurance agent and had information for him. We also have a mutual friend who also just underwent major surgery two days ago and I left him a message about that. He called me back to see how our friend did in surgery.  Each time he has called we have talked for almost an hour.  All it has done is make me miss him more.

As I read what I have written, these sound like excuses to me.  I do want your opinion on resending the letter.  This is HARD!!! I was feeling so empowered, but I do not want to go back to feeling second rate.

Thanks for all you do.


Dear Stephanie,

I think you need to reread my book and follow the steps after you send the Goodbye Letter. No need to send it again, but clearly you're not sticking to my program and listening to what I'm telling you to do. The Goodbye Letter only works once you've sent