Relationships are hard enough to navigate, so it totally sucks when the guy you're seriously dating wakes up one morning and realizes for all intents and purposes the two of you are committed to one another, and he's basically in a relationship. Instead of embracing the intense connection and love you feel for one another, he freaks out. He's afraid of his own emotional shadow, and filled with fear, insecurities and baggage from past relationships, and he suddenly wants to make sure "you're just friends," because anything else is too much for him to handle. I discuss this exact scenario in my book, "Girlfriend 911" and what to do if this happens to you, and here's a great article with some great advice: http://elitedai.ly/1Q9dPH5
Most women get angry with me when I tell them that whatever is not working in their dating and relationship situations is their fault. No one likes to be blamed for anything, and as a society we seem to have a hard time owning our stuff. But here's the truth, everything that you've put on the guy up to this point as his fault, you need to put back on yourself as your fault, and own it! Because somewhere along the way your behavior was not okay, and you allowed him to get away with anything and everything. I know you know what I'm saying is true, so instead of looking at past relationships as negatives, look at them as positives and learn from your mistakes.
I know this will resonate with a lot of women, because more than men we tend to take care of everyone else, except ourselves. In my book, Girlfriend 911, I talk about the importance of loving your self and taking care of your self. I call it "feeding your soul." You have to pay attention to YOU! It's so hard for women to put themselves above everyone else, but it's one of the key ingredients to having a healthy and happy relationship. Take care of yourself first, then you can help everyone else!