It's Not You, It's Me!

Rough weekend for your relationship? Here's some more kick-ass dating and relationship advice from my book, GIRLFRIEND 911. 

Most women get angry with me when I tell them that whatever is not working in their dating and relationship situations is their fault. No one likes to be blamed for anything, and as a society we seem to have a hard time owning our stuff. But here's the truth; if you’ve been in a bunch of relationships that haven’t worked out, guess what, it’s not about the guy; it’s about YOU. If you've dated guys that are jerks who didn't treat you right and disrespected you, that's your fault. I know it sounds harsh but it's the truth. Somewhere along the way you forgot to stand up for yourself and you allowed that behavior. You allowed your man to get away with anything and everything, so that's on you.  I know you know what I'm saying is true, so instead of looking at past relationships as negatives, look at them as positives and learn from your mistakes and change YOUR behavior. 

Download a copy of my book, GIRLFRIEND 911 to learn how to stand up for yourself in your relationships, and how to stop repeating old negative patterns.

You Complete Me? No, That's All Wrong - Complete Yourself First!

I saw Bridget Jones's Baby this past weekend and absolutely loved it! It made me think of Jerry Maguire and that famous line Tom Cruise says to Renee Zellweger, "You complete me." It's such an awesome line, don't we all wish a guy would say that to us?  Well the truth is NO, because if you really want to have a healthy relationship, its so important for both parties to already be complete human beings; not ones that need to be saved, rescued or completed. So do the work on yourself, sort out your stuff and become whole. That's how you will find and attract true love into your life. As I say in my book GIRLFRIEND 91, "[in a} a union of true soul mates, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Each person benefits and flourishes in a way they could never do on their own. In such a relationship neither partner should ever have to compromise being who they are; rather, each should support the other."

Monday Musing - Don't Lose Yourself In Your Relationship!

How many of us ladies are guilty of this? As women our instincts are to be nurturers and caretakers and it's often so hard for us to have appropriate boundaries, especially when we fall in love and just want to make our partners happy! So here's a Monday musing and a reminder that I know a lot of you will need; remember you are special too!! Don't forget that, and more importantly, make sure your partner doesn't either.

All Women Need To Read This!!!

Isn't it interesting that almost all Relationship Experts give the same advice about whether a man is, or isn't that into you!

Below is an excerpt from my book, GIRLFRIEND 911, as well as,  a meme that came up on my Facebook feed today. We are basically saying the same thing, so why aren't more women listening???

"In order for dating and relationships to work, you have to allow men to take on the role of men and women to take on the role of women. Men are born to be hunters, chasers, and pursuers—plain and simple. Men are hard-wired to be powerful, independent, and aggressive; behaviors that can be traced back to prehistoric times when men were actual hunters and protectors and women were gatherers and assemblers. Men need to be allowed to pound their chests and feel like men. Women, on the other hand, are meant to be hunted, chased, and pursued. It’s our job to gather the facts and assemble a healthy relationship. Men and women are wired differently. We all know this. Men need to court women, and women need to allow the men to court them. We don’t have to be completely old-fashioned. It is the twenty-first century, after all, but it’s important to fully understand that women are designed to be nurturers and caretakers. We are made to bear children and care for our families. Men today have become completely emasculated by our inability to allow them to be providers. Of course we can still work hard and have our own careers, but we cannot take everything away from men
when it comes to dating and marriage."

If he's not calling you, texting you, or making consistent plans to see you, then there's an issue on his part. It doesn't matter what the issue is, bottom line -- he's not showing up for you, and you deserve better!

Red Flag Alert: Words and Actions Should Always Match!

I'm still on my Red Flag rant, and here's a major red flag in dating and relationships. People who say one thing and do another. When a person's actions don't match their words and vice versa it tells you a lot about that person's character, and it's definitely something to pay attention to. Here's what I think, if you don't mean it, don't say it, and if you can't fulfill a promise don't make it. #girlfriend911 #beauthentic #dating #relationships #advice

15 Red Flags Not to Ignore In Any Relationship!

For those of you who've read GIRLFRIEND 911, you already know how much I love talking about red flags!  RED FLAGS are always important, so pay attention to them. Sometimes they can be that gnawing little feeling that something isn't quite right, and other times they can feel like loud sounding alarm bells going off in your head saying something definitely is wrong. Either way, red flags are a warning to you to pay attention. Never ignore those reg flags and always take the necessary action needed to make them go away. Here are 15 red flags you can't ignore in your relationship. I especially love Number 15: "That Old Uneasy Feeling: Intuition is a real thing, and we all have it. Trust yours!"

Dear GF911: Help!! I Dreamed My Ex-Boyfriend Died!

Dear Girlfriend 911,

I had the craziest dream last night. I dreamt that my ex-boyfriend died and I attended his visitation. We had a difficult relationship with a painful breakup. I wanted to marry him, and he was a commitment phobe so we broke up and got back together many times until I think we finally ended things in February.   He and I have not spoken, or seen each other since then which has been really good for me, but this dream really freaked me out.

I'm in a new relationship, we've been together since April and I'm very happy.  Just wondering what your thoughts are about where this crazy dream came from, and what it might mean?



Dear Natalie,

I think your dream is not about a literal death, but rather a figurative one. It's about the death of your relationship, the fact that you and your ex are done, your karma is over and someone new and better is coming into your life, or as you stated, is already in your life. 

It's almost like your ex came to say goodbye to you in that dream and you got to say goodbye to him. Again not literally, but figuratively. And now that you have a new person in your life, which may end up being "the one" my interpretation would be that your dream is just confirmation that you and your ex are actually finally done. 

It sounds like your ex could never give you what you deserved and what you wanted, so the dream signifies that chapter in your life is over and has ended. Hopefully the new guy you’re now dating can step up and be everything you want, deserve and need him to be. 

I hope this helps you. 


Girlfriend 911