You took the bait. You were reeled in. And now there you are, dangling from that hook. Just waiting. Waiting to see if you're a keeper, or a throw back. Since you haven't been let off the hook, then certainly you're a keeper, right? Sound familiar?
If you've found yourself on the hook, for a few months, or even years, you're not alone. We've all been there. The important thing is that you step back, see the big picture, and realize your situation is going nowhere. Remember, only you have the power to change your situation, create a standard for yourself and a boundary for your man. Trust me, you'll find it freeing and healing when you do. However, we can all only reach that conclusion when we are truly ready to detach our hearts, and everyone's timing is different.
Many women ask me why a man would keep them on the hook. I have a few theories.
1. Ego - Some men like to know that there's a woman nearby who feels the way you do. It feeds their ego. They keep you around solely to access that feeling of being loved, even though it's unrequited love.
2. Sex - I'll be honest. Some men will keep you around just for sex. They know you are a sure thing, so why not?
3. Backup - Some men will want you in the wings, just in case something better doesn't come along. You're the fallback girl.
None of these are self esteem builders, or make us feel good as women, that's for sure! So cut your losses and move forward. If you need help be sure to read my book, Girlfriend 911 - Decoding Dating and Rescuing Relationships One Girlfriend at a Time: http://amzn.to/1tytbG7 It's a real game changer. I'm here for you, girlfriend! You can also contact me at Girlfriend911@live.com
Here is the latest review on Amazon.com from a Girlfriend 911 reader:
Straight, refreshing, honest advice. A "must read" for everyone in the dating world. Very helpful whether you're in a relationship or not. It's one of those books you will want to keep nearby to refer to often. Get one for yourself and a few to have on hand for your friends. They will love you for it!
"Here's an insight about men that's fascinating and strange and that, once you understand it, is going to stop a lot of the pain and frustration you experience with dating and relationships.
When a man gets truly close to a woman and deeply intimate for any extended period of time, he loves that feeling and wants more of it. But the strange part of this is that the moment a man experiences this period of intense closeness, he will take some space for himself.
I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but it's how most men work emotionally. Most men will actually seek some amount of space to "recover." It's kind of like how after a muscle gets worked out it needs to rest before it can grow stronger and be active again.
Men can become distant even in good relationships, and if you know what to do, you can keep your guy physically and emotionally engaged... even when he needs time to recover."