Pay Attention When It's Not Working!

This is for those of you struggling to decide what to do in a relationship or dating situation that isn't working. This is great advice and a good reminder if you're not on the same page it's time to move on. Relationships never work when one or both people aren't getting not only what they want from the relationship, but more importantly, what they deserve! #girlfriend911


Dear GF911: I Feel Lost And Unsure Of What To Do!

Dear Girlfriend 911,

First off I want to say that I love your book. I read it while I was single and dating and it really helped me a lot! Now that I'm single again, I have gone back to your book because I am in a situation right now where I am lost and unsure of what to do. 

A few months ago a co-worker asked me out.  I didn't think much of it in the beginning, as to me it was just going out with a co-worker as friends, but things progressed and I started having feelings for him. We then took the relationship to the next level, but no clear boundaries were established. Unfortunately, a couple months into seeing each other he announced that he had accepted a job promotion and was moving to San Francisco. I was really bummed, but we planned that I would visit him in December. Stupidly, we did not have a talk about where we stood before he left. To be honest, I was too afraid and did not want to deal with the awkwardness of the conversation, which I am regretting now. He's been gone since September. We still text each other and he does say he misses me, but I can feel he's pulling away.  

Last week, he was in town for a quick turn around to move out all of his stuff from his apartment. He texted couple days before to let me know that he was going to be in town and would love to see me. I was so excited that I was going to see him and then the next day he told me he wouldn't be able to see me because he was too busy packing. I was really upset when he told me that because he got my hopes up and I thought it was strange that he did not have any time to spare to see me, even for just an hour. 

Now he's back in San Francisco he's texts me about once a week. He does say sweet things like he thinks I'm beautiful and he misses me, but the problem is I feel really sad about the situation, and I want this sadness to go away. When I hear from him it's so wonderful and I'm happy again, but when I don't hear from him for another week I'm so sad in-between. I don't know if it's because we didn't have that talk before he left and there are things left unsaid, or because I want more and I know he doesn't because it's long distance. I know now that it would not be a good idea for me to visit him in December, because it will be a short moment of romance and then I would have to go back home. That will leave me hurt all over again. I am unsure of what to do at this point. Should I continue to keep in touch with him and assume that we are just friends now? Or should I have that talk we didn't get to have about where we stand? Or should I say goodbye and let him go?

I feel so lost and helpless right now. Your advice and help would be greatly appreciated. 

Sincerely, 
Amy

Dear Amy,

Thanks so much for reaching out and for your kind words regarding Girlfriend 911.

The reason you're feeling so sad is because you've been operating from a place of fear, and fear is very disempowering. Also, you haven't set an appropriate boundary in this situation and you've given all your power away to your co-worker; he's the one calling all the shots and you're just going along with HIS plan, never getting a chance to tell him YOUR plan. 

Even if what you ultimately want from this situation isn't what he wants, you have to tell him where you stand and what you want from him. Whether you do it in person, send him an email, or a text message this conversation needs to be had. Once you do this, one of two things will happen: 1)He will be on the same page as you and you guys can figure out how to have a long distance relationship or 2) Speaking your truth will set you free.

I just know as you soon as you get in the driver's seat and take the wheel so-to-speak, you're going to feel so much better and quite empowered. 

I hope this helps you. 

Best, 
Girlfriend 911

Kick-Ass Dating and Relationship Advice From Girlfriend 911!



Here is some kick-ass dating and relationship advice from my book, GIRLFRIEND 911. In any dating or relationship situation as long as you set a high standard for yourself you can never go wrong. Standards describe what you will and won’t tolerate in a relationship. Your list of standards is basically your list of what you deserve.  Any time you accept anything less than what is on your list of standards, you are saying to a guy you're are not worthy of his love and respect. Here’s a fact men love women who love themselves, respect themselves and have the confidence to say no to a man in any situation where he doesn’t come up to her standard, or does something to put her down or make her feel less than.  

"If you want to be treated properly and respected by the man you’re dating, it is imperative that you create a list of standards for yourself. Think about these standards long and hard, and know that once you write them down, you can add to the list but not subtract from it. Your list of standards is basically your list of what you deserve. Any time you accept anything less than your list of standards, you are saying you are not worthy. On the contrary, the man you are with should feel like the luckiest guy on the planet to have landed you. Write down your list of standards and stick to them.” GIRLFRIEND 911 

Download your copy of GIRLFRIEND 911 here: http://amzn.to/2bzf1an

Learn How to Take Control When You Can't Control What's Happening In Your Relationship!

This is brilliant and I couldn't have said it better myself. When it comes to dating and relationships remember if things aren't working out, or going the way you want them to, you are the problem, but you are also the solution, because most importantly, YOU hold all the POWER.

If this doesn't make sense to you, and you don't understand what I'm saying, because you feel POWERLESS in your relationship then it's time you downloaded a copy of my book, GIRLFRIEND 911. I will teach you how to understand why you might not be able to control what is happening in your relationship, but you can absolutely be in control and be the one to hold all the power.  Download your copy of GIRLFRIEND 911 here: http://amzn.to/2bzf1an

Monday Musings and Food For Thought

I wish more people would follow this great piece of advice especially when it comes to dating and relationships, because it's so true!

Don't Be An Afterthought!

If your self worth is in tact and you have a high set of standards for yourself, and appropriate boundaries in your relationships you should never find yourself in this situation. However, if none of the above apply to you, it's time to re-evaluate and make some necessary changes. You never want to be the girl who accepts crumbs and is okay with being taken advantage of.