Don't Be An Afterthought!

If your self worth is in tact and you have a high set of standards for yourself, and appropriate boundaries in your relationships you should never find yourself in this situation. However, if none of the above apply to you, it's time to re-evaluate and make some necessary changes. You never want to be the girl who accepts crumbs and is okay with being taken advantage of. 

Dear Girlfriend 911: Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?


Dear Girlfriend 911,

Loved your book,  great advice!

I have been in a relationship with a much younger man for about 2 years. I made many of the mistakes you outlined in your book, and the relationship was rocky, but he says he is ready to commit to me on my terms. The problem is, after finding out about what he did while we were together, I don't know if I can trust him. I am still very hurt by his actions and I am not sure I can move forward with him now. I know he loves me, but I am having a very difficult time getting past the lies and deception.

It seems that you advocate forgiving all transgressions made by the man as long as he comes around and is ready to commit on the women's terms. Is that true? Traditional wisdom says once a cheater, always a cheater. Do you not believe that? I would much appreciate your opinion and advice because I am really struggling with this.

Thank you,
Joanne

Dear Joanne,

Thanks for reaching out to me and for your kinds words.

I definitely do not advocate forgiving all transgressions made by a man as long as he comes around and is ready to commit on the woman's terms. I'm not sure where in the book you thought that, or what kind of transgressions you are talking about. What I do believe is the following; the only reason the man is behaving badly in the first place is because the woman has no standard for herself, no boundary for him, and is allowing the bad behavior to continue. So, if you've read my book and are now sticking to a high standard for yourself, there shouldn't be any bad behaviors from your man, because the minute he steps out of line, it's up to you to put a stop to it and explain to him why that kind of behavior is unacceptable.

If you are specifically talking about cheating, I don't believe once a cheater, always a cheater.  Instead, I think it really needs to be decided on a case-by-case basis.  Certainly, if there are enough red flags in the relationship; cheating, lying and deception are NOT good signs. I know women are very intuitive, so my best advice to you is to just listen to your gut. If it doesn't feel right, then it isn't.  Trust and communication are two of the most important factors in having a healthy relationship. So if you can't trust him, then you absolutely shouldn't be in this relationship. However, if you think that your behavior and your lack of standards in the relationship contributed to the way he had been behaving, then change your behavior and see if he changes his. And if he doesn't, then that is your clear sign this man must go.

I hope this helps you.

Girlfriend 911

Dear Girlfriend 911: I'm Having An Affair And Can't Let Go Of It


Dear Girlfriend 911,

I read your book and I think you can really help me.  I'm married, but I had a short term relationship with another man, and I feel like I can't let go of it.  I need to find the True Self concepts in your book, and figure out how to send the Goodbye Letter which my heart can't stand to do, but knows that it should.

Thanks for the good information your provide in your book.  It really made me think.

Kind regards,

Amy

Dear Amy,

Anytime you're not getting what you want from a relationship or situation, it's causing you more pain than joy, and you feel out of control and disempowered, that's a sure sign that it's time to get out. It doesn't mean that getting out will be for good, but you must change the balance of power. You need to empower yourself, get in the driver's seat and draw a line in the sand. The Goodbye Letter is the perfect way to do that because as I say in my book,  "This is not necessarily a goodbye to your man, but instead a goodbye to the old way of doing things. You are putting

Dear GF911: A Letter of Gratitude


Dear Girlfriend 911,

Even though I don't know you, I felt compelled to write and tell you so that you know that reading your book and following your advice saved me, and possibly my life! I am not even joking.  Cutting off communication with my ex was not only healing, but eye opening on what I really need in a realtionship. If I would have kept going on trying to be "friends" with him, the confusion would have made me do something that I would be embarrassed about, or worse, I would have looked psycho to everyone. Not sure what I would have done, and I shudder at the thought of it.

So, now after almost one and half months of not talking, I finally have true clarity. I am completely over him and the situation! I am at pure peace and bliss right now. There was such a fog over my eyes and a hurt that I didn't want to confront. I give so much gratitude to you and your book, your insight and your advice. So many of my friends cannot believe how far I have come. I know that cutting communication with him really saved me. I cannot thank you enough!

I am sending so much love and light your way. Please know that I honestly could not have done this without you and your book. I am truly blessed to have you as a part of my life.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Forever Grateful

Monday Musings

This is on my mind today because way too many women give up their power to their partners, or forget they even have their own power in the first place. So ladies this one is for you!!! A reminder that you have all the power, and you never have to accept less than you deserve, or as I like to say -- mere crumbs.

A Full Moon in Libra is Powerful Time to Let Go of Relationships That Aren't Working!


We are in a powerful planetary phase at the moment, with an especially intense Full Moon. So if there's a lot of drama in your relationships right now that's probably why. For those of you in unhappy relationships, this is a good time to let them go and clear your path to allow new people and happier, healthier relationships in.  Here is some awesome astrological advice on what it means to have a Full Moon in Libra:

"Libra is all about Balance and Harmony, and the Full Moon in Libra wants you to let go, at least partly, of those relationships that put in jeopardy your own Inner Balance. The Moon wants you to preserve your own energy for those outside loves and things that can respect your full power and softness, your true identity, your real desires both for yourself and for the relationship.

The energies want you to see that when you give too much of yourself or when you feel undervalued, not respected, honoured or inspired enough in a relationship, in other words when it's Imbalanced for you as you give more than you receive -- you actually loose your own inner happy there & in the name of the outside.

The Moon wants you to see that you deserve more than those relationships that can't love you as you deserve. In those specific situations you sometimes compromise yourself to keep the bond as it is. You know that if you break the compromising deal, crisis follow.
You know that dramas happen if you refuse to keep yourself small, silent, waiting or if you speak your true desires.

You know that the relationship is based on a deal that makes yourself hide parts of your worth, beauty, true desires and aspirations -- and you know that if you break the unhealthy deal, the relationship could fall.

***

But tonight, you can let it Fall.

***

If you don't, new people or new ways of relating won't be able to find you because you'll simply be stuck somewhere else.

You need to move out, in order to move in -- if you see what I mean.

Without those spaces freed up in your heart from what's meant to fall, the newness of love can't find you.

It's a difficult time I know.

It's hard because we wish that they had loved us as we loved them.

It's hard because yes, sometimes we did love them to the Moon and back.

But they didn't, or perhaps they couldn't, return the Moon.

You get to choose to set yourself free from those relationships that ultimately attach and cord you, without giving you as much as YOU are able to give in this life, which is Unconditional Love.

It's hard to let go of people that we love especially when we are empaths because we keep thinking or hoping that they will change.

This, nobody can know.

But at least tonight, and for your own joy, remember to save yourself first & that Love need Two People to Tango.

The Moon wants you to see, again, that the right path on this journey is always to choose Yourself.

As you let things go, take immense care of yourself and Trust that more aligned loves, loves that allow you to keep your own inner balance, to rise as tall as you're meant to and to love as deep, kind and magic as you're longing for - will find you, when you sign up for Freedom." Lovehaswon.org


Mirroring Behaviors

This one really spoke to me today because it just nails it! You know the saying, "treat others how you want to be treated," well in that same vain when you treat yourself with respect and dignity others treat you that way was well. Similarly, when you have no respect for yourself, others mirror your behavior and have no respect for you!