Is Your Relationship Totally Off the Hook?! Or Are You Actually ..."On the Hook?"

The dreaded term "on the hook" was made popular by the TV show "How I Met Your Mother," and it revealed a phenomenon that is all too common today. Most of us have been strung along at some point in our lives by a significant other (or have even strung others along). You know what I'm talkin' about. When that one person you're most connected to, or maybe even in love with, has given you false hope, leading you to believe that maybe someday they'll be ready to be in a real relationship with you. Just "not right now." They don't want you, but they don't want you out of the picture either, so they keep you at arms length, hooked!!

You took the bait. You were reeled in. And now there you are, dangling from that hook. Just waiting. Waiting to see if you're a keeper, or a throw back. Since you haven't been let off the hook, then certainly you're a keeper, right?  Sound familiar?  

If you've found yourself on the hook, for a few months, or even years, you're not alone.  We've all been there. The important thing is that you step back, see the big picture, and realize your situation is going nowhere. Remember, only you have the power to change your situation, create a standard for yourself and a boundary for your man. Trust me, you'll find it freeing and healing when you do.  However, we can all only reach that conclusion when we are truly ready to detach our hearts, and everyone's timing is different.

Many women ask me why a man would keep them on the hook. I have a few theories.

1. Ego - Some men like to know that there's a woman nearby who feels the way you do. It feeds their ego. They keep you around solely to access that feeling of being loved, even though it's unrequited love.
2. Sex - I'll be honest. Some men will keep you around just for sex. They know you are a sure thing, so why not?
3. Backup - Some men will want you in the wings, just in case something better doesn't come along. You're the fallback girl.

None of these are self esteem builders, or make us feel good as women, that's for sure!  So cut your losses and move forward.  If you need help be sure to read my book, Girlfriend 911 - Decoding Dating and Rescuing Relationships One Girlfriend at a Time:  It's a real game changer.  I'm here for you, girlfriend! You can also contact me at

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