The Goodbye Letter - Saying Goodbye To How Things Used To Be!

Here is an example of a Goodbye Letter I just helped a client to write.  Once she'd sent it, my client said she felt like a huge burden had been lifted off her shoulders, and she felt such a sense of relief! This is a great example of taking your power back and stating your truth:

Dear Ed, 

It was great to hear from you. I think of you often and hope that you are well. I'm also glad you reached out, because I've really wanted to tell you that I'm sorry if I cut off all communications with you in March without expressing why I made that choice. I feel you deserve an explanation and these months apart have given me plenty of time to really think about our situation, think about what went wrong, and get great clarity about where I'm at, and what I need moving forward. 

When I told you that I loved you and promised not to break your heart and be faithful to you … that was what I delivered. However, the same was not true from your end. I was let down by you so many times and so many promises were broken. I have tons of examples I could list, but here are the ones that really hurt the most: How badly you treated me, the lack of interest you showed my children (the most important people in my life), how you cussed at me and talked down to me, and the careless way you allowed your friends and co-workers to hear you berate me on the phone. I could go on and on listing the many unhealthy ways of our relationship, but after a lot of soul-searching, what I've realized being apart all these months, is that none of this is your fault. The truth is, the fault lies entirely with me. I'm 100% to blame for everything that went wrong, and here are the reasons why: I allowed you to treat me badly. I allowed our relationship to be entirely on your terms and at your convenience, and I indulged your unwillingness to engage in my life, even though I was completely engaged in yours. I didn't stand up for myself and say “Ed the way you're behaving and how you're treating me is not okay.”  And as a result, our relationship became exhausting, emotionally bankrupting, and way too painful for me, hence my decision to cut the ties and cut off all communication with you. I've learned my lesson now and I will not be repeating those mistakes anymore. 

Being able to own up to my part of what was wrong in our relationship has been extremely liberating for me, and has given me 100% clarity of what I want and what I deserve to have in
my life moving forward. I know I want a long-term relationship that is healthy, where there is open communication and mutual respect. I'm looking for a partner to share my life with and visa versa. Even though I miss you terribly, still have very strong feelings for you Ed and absolutely want to be with you, I won't do it at the cost of my own happiness. If what I want, who I am and what I need is very different from what you want and where you're at, then I know beyond a shadow of a doubt you still can't be in my life. However, should your choices ever be parallel with mine, I'm always open to discussing the possibility of us being in each other's lives again.


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