Dear GF911 Help! Tornado Met A Volcano Part Two

Dear Girlfriend 911,

Thank you for your awesome response. I have your book downloaded to my iPhone and it's always handy in case I get weak. It's been a week and no contact. I refuse to call him. Unfortunately, he sealed the deal by going to our program secretary who he never talks to about personal business and saying two things; "hey I'm gonna get a Mercedes Benz convertible... it's a chick magnet," and "Lindsey and I broke up." So he knows that she would tell me. She tried to play it off like she wasn't aware that we were even dating, and he laughed and said, "of course you know that were are!"

I was upset because now there is no chance of working things out. Everybody including my family is saying forget him and move on, he's a douchebag. How does one just shut off emotions and move on? I started doubting myself for his bad behavior! Is there another woman? Was it my fault? What I don't know is how do I write him a Goodbye Letter in this case? If I do, then I initiated the first move, and I will not do that. I know he will not call or text me. Someone told me he was very happy, while I am trying to nurse my broken heart. The only thing going for me is that I am working off site for another week. What is upsetting me is that we will face each other at work in a couple of weeks. How do I act? Should I be cold and heartless like him?  I don't want to write to him without him making the first move. I thought instead of writing anything, it's best to stay radio silent. If it's meant to be, he will come around.  It hurts to think that he is dating again. It seems like the end for now. Everybody is telling me that I need to move on and stop dwelling on it.  I don't


Dear Lindsey,

Why would you be upset that your co-worker went to talk to your program director about YOU? That should make you very happy, as it clearly shows your co-worker still cares a lot about you. Why would he waste his time and energy talking about you if he was really over you? Or try to make you jealous by his "Mercedes Benz chick magnet" comment if he really didn't care about you. That just doesn't make sense. His behavior is a clear sign to me that he still cares a lot about you, and that he is really upset you've put him on the "naughty mat" so-to-speak. If you heard he was "very happy" trust me it's just an act. Yes, you are doing the right thing by going radio silent, and it's working don't you see that? He obviously doesn't have the courage to approach you directly, so he's reaching out to your program director in a desperate attempt to get your attention, because, as you said, he knows that she will tell you.

For now, do nothing and wait for him to make the next move. He will. When he does reach out to you, then you can email him your Goodbye Letter. Don't forget to be very honest with him, tell him how you feel about him, and what you want i. e.  a long-term healthy committed relationship. Tell him that he can't be in your life unless you are both on the same page.  Also, be sure to tell him that his past bad behavior is unacceptable to you, and if he wants to be in your life in the future he will have to behave appropriately and respectfully. I have tons of examples of Goodbye Letters in my book so feel free to use them as a guide or starting point. 

If you keep following my program you will have success. Either your co-worker will come back to you on YOUR terms, or you will get rid of him for good, and find someone that does deserve to be with you.

Girlfriend 911 

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