Dear Girlfriend 911,
I am writing because I have come to a point where I am in desperate need of some relationship advice. Let me just start off by apologizing in advance for how complicated or confusing this scenario may be. This is my first time doing this, so please bear with me.
I have been dating a guy named Craig for about 3 years now. You can say our relationship has been somewhat of a rollercoaster ride. We have had some serious ups and downs. As a matter of fact I was living with him, and moved out this past December. We lived together for a total of about 6 months. I was hesitant to live with him in the first place, because I have been married before and divorced. So I was super nervous about taking the jump considering the ups and downs we've had in the relationship. Anyway, even though I moved out of the apartment with him, we are still seeing each other.
Now let's back track.... about 5 years ago I met this GREAT guy named Matt. I was just getting out of my marriage and not ready to be as serious as Matt wanted to be. Also, he lived in Atlanta a different city from where I was living, so that made things more complicated. Matt backed off, but we continued to talk now and again. Eventually, however, he got into a serious relationship with a woman that he ended up living with for about 3 years. But, for whatever reason, he was always in the back of my mind.
About 10 months ago, I heard that Matt and his girlfriend had broken up and I texted him to say I was sorry it didn't work out. He immediately texted back and we started talking all the time. At some point he told me that he had a job opportunity close to where I live and was considering moving there. I was over the moon with excitement and freaked out at the same time, because I was still living with Craig. But things with Craig weren't going well.
Long story short... I've since moved into my own apartment. Matt didn't end up moving, but in my heart I know that Craig is NOT the guy for me. And Matt is. But for some reason I can NOT just push Craig away. I care about him, and love him, but I just know he isn't right. Matt is. Matt wants me to move to Atlanta where we can start a life together. And when I mean a life, I mean marriage and kids. THE WHOLE NINE YARDS! But why can't I break whatever it is I have going on with Craig??
Please help!!
Megan
Dear Megan,
Thank you for taking the time to write. I'm sorry for what you're going through, but at least you have amazing clarity about which of these men is the right one for you, and that is a great place to start.
I believe that each of us come to this earth to fulfill a journey. But that journey is ours and ours alone, meaning we are
responsible for ourselves and our own journey. We cannot and must not take on the responsibility of someone else's journey, because if we do that we will just be stepping on their toes so-to-speak, and stopping them from following their own path and finding their own happiness. At the moment you're impeding Craig's journey and stopping him from finding his true love. So the greatest gift you can give him is to set him free.
You stated so clearly to me that you know in your heart Craig is not the guy for you. That is your truth Megan, and when you operate out of a place of truth you can never go wrong. So have the courage to break up with him. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to him if you allow this relationship to continue knowing in your heart he's not the one.
Girlfriend 911
Dear Girlfriend 911,
Thank you so very much for your help. At the end of the day I knew your response would be exactly what I just read. I suppose I need to just put my big girl panties on and do what I know is right in my heart.
Ironically, I was texting Craig as soon as your reply came to my inbox. He has been asking about my feelings and I was at a loss of words.... Until I got your email. Thank you for that!
Best,
Megan
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