Dear GF911: Do I Need To Write A Goodbye Letter?
You were great on Jeff Probst's show and so timely for me. Here's my situation. I have been dating a man for a little over two years. I had actually met him a year previously, but when we met again I guess the sparks kinda flew. He asked me out and we've been pretty inseparable ever since.
The only time we ever disagree is over his ex-wife, who even though she has divorced him twice, she always has to have some "thing" to connect them. First, it was the dog they had "joint" custody of. She kept the dog all the time and he paid all the bills. Then, when the dog died she brought some of her houseplants over for him to take care of while she moved, yet again.
I had never met her until my boyfriend was in the ICU to have a serious operation. I spent three days following him to 3 different hospitals until they found the right one to do the surgery. No one else beside me was around to see how sick he was. The night before the surgery he came up with a ridiculous excuse to call his ex-wife and let her know where he was. As a result of this, she came to the hospital and got me kicked out of the room. Nevertheless, I still managed to stay through the surgery and then went to visit him every day until he came home. Then a few days later he went to her house for her to take care of him for the weekend. Basically thumbing his nose at everything I'd been doing for him. It was devastating.
Will a "Goodbye Letter" do me any good to write? And do I send it to him? What do I focus on in it? Please help me. I need to move on, as I feel like I have been dragged through a knot-hole backwards. I am pretty emotionally beat up right now.
Thanks for your assistance,
Thank you for taking the time to write and thank you for your very kind words. I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time. From the little that you've told me it does seem like your boyfriend needs to make a decision once and for all, either you're the priority and he's 100% committed to you, with his ex-wife totally out of the picture, or you have no other choice but to end the relationship. You certainly deserve only the best treatment from him and clearly he's not giving that to you. So a Goodbye Letter will be extremely helpful in letting him know
how you feel, and how you deserve to be treated moving forward.
My best advice at this point is to...
read my book, Girlfriend 911. There is so much great advice in there that I know will be so helpful to your situation. Also, I have a bunch of examples of Goodbye Letters that you can use to help you know what to say and how to say it. When someone is at an emotional low my book is the best medicine possible to help you find your voice and your strength. It's so empowering and if you follow my program I promise you it will help put you back in the driver's seat, and back in control of your life and you will feel a million times better.
If you still have questions after reading the book, feel free to email me and I will answer them.
Best of luck.