Dear GF911: I Have No Idea What You're Talking About, HELP! Part One
Dear Girlfriend 911,
I'm so glad I bought your book, I really really needed it! I just wrote my guy the following Goodbye Letter:
I really appreciate the time we have spent together, but your reaction to me today shows me why I am unhappy. I deserve to be respected, wanted, loved, and cared about. I am not to be pushed away and left hanging and waiting around. I do not want to be friends. What I do want is to have a healthy, monogamous, long-term, committed relationship with you. However, once things get good or feel like this could be just that, you pull away with no explanation, shut me out, tell me you will call me back, blame me for saying or asking a question, and then it's over. You're gone until the cycle starts all over again.
There is no doubt in my mind that you, Stuart, are the person I want to be with. No matter what you say or believe or how much you push me away. When I met you there was an instant connection and an amazing dynamic between us. Yes, I had some issues and so did you. I am one to overlook things many times and forgive people I truly care about. I do not live my life in fear of the past. I move on and keep things new. I am not angry with you, I am just disappointed in the way I allowed myself to be an afterthought. I told you before, but I will remind you again, I am not up for games, empty sex, empty conversations, empty efforts. I want and deserve a long lasting, committed relationship with a man who wants the same. I have worked very hard to improve myself and become a better person. I am not afraid to admit my flaws and I am very honest with everyone around me.
I didn’t hear from you last night or this morning until I contacted you and your reaction to me was clear as day. I just can't do this anymore because you're so hot and cold and it's too upsetting. I want the whole package and I want it with you. I know we have love there already, but I want to know if this is something you are serious about, because from your actions, it doesn’t seem that way to me. I hope you will take time to really think things through and be very honest with me and yourself as to exactly what it is you want and how we should move forward, whether it be together or apart.
Girlfriend 911 he responded by saying, "I have no idea what you're talking about, but okay." Help what do I do now???
"I have no idea what you're talking about," in man speak means I don't want to deal with this right now, and I liked the ways things were, and how I treated you, and I don't want to change them.
Great letter Stacey, you said everything in there that needed to be said. He needs time to digest it all and realize that your actions and words match. What you say you mean. So my advice is do nothing, absolutely nothing. Just ignore him and wait to hear from him again, because you will. And when you do, unless he's ready to have an adult, mature conversation with you about everything you said in your Goodbye Letter, don't allow him back into your life. This is a hard process so don't get weak, keep your eye on the big picture, and keep reminding yourself you deserve only the best!!